Would you do this to your parents?

My parents came into town this weekend. Normally, I guess you'd play it safe. Easy travel from here to there and nice little tourist sorts of things and nice safe meals. Didn't happen this time. Mom and Dad got a Boo Guy Show experience.

Friday night, after they braved the horrors of driving into Boston, I took them to the Cuban restaurant on the corner. It took over a half an hour to get a table, and then another 15 minutes after that until we even had water. They were out of the Friday pork plate special #1, so my dad and I wound up with a crazy pork roll instead. Congris, fried plantains, yuca, Asian vegetables, juice smoothies instead of wine and manhattans...

By the time we got all the loot from home up to my 3rd story apartment, they were ready to head back to the hotel. Fast-forward to 11:20am Saturday:

Mom and Dad are waiting at the T stop when I roll up on the 39 bus. We head to the heart of Boston on a trolley filled with friendly college students, one of whom is wearing a t-shirt with a hammer and sickle and Karl Marx with a lampshade on his head. Another one gives my mom an eyeglass case as he hops off. When we finally get to Park Street, we are greeted by the unmistakable Subway Smell and then pass a couple of senior citizens hobbling up the stairs to street level. Ouch. I thought my knees were bad.

I proceed to hike them through Downtown Crossing, over the bridge into Southie where I work, back to South Station for a pizza lunch, up Atlantic Avenue to the harbor where we see plenty of ocean water and Chris Pfohl, through some more of the monstrously tall financial district, to the old state house for roasted cashews and buskers, Faneiul Hall and Quincy Market where we see a living statue and a man who folds himself into a pretzel, and grab a beer. After that, it's back down to Boston Common and the Public Garden, where we spend an hour and a half. By this point, I think I've hobbled about 3 miles on a bum knee.

What else can you do with a day in Boston but hop a bus whose destination is Roxbury? Of course, the bus drops us off a block past where the map says it will, so we take our weary legs an extra circuitous 4 blocks through some low-income territory, but eventually end up at Gaslight Brasserie, where we attempt to order food from French menus we can't read. We wind up with excellent pasta and pizza and really expensive drinks.

After that, I nab my first Boston Cab ride, which is considerably cheaper than I thought a Boston cab would be. I leave Mom and Dad to the hotel around 8:00PM and retire to my abode in JP where I am dead asleep by 10:00PM. You know that if a young guy like me is out that early, it's been a day. They left for home this morning. Rock and roll.

In short, your parents can take it. Give 'em the works when they come to visit.